My New Mantra

Babies Don't Keep
by Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread.
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo)
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

A Totally Average Day

Two is the New One...

Notes/thoughts on parenting two and doing it all again...

(for my own self-serving purpose of looking back and seeing how far we've come : )



1) About 2 hours of every day I feel like I can handle being a parent of two. If I add a couple minutes to this daily I should have things under control by Evi's first birthday.

2.) Late at night when you are feeding the baby and trying not to fall asleep you're mind goes to strange places. Like, the branches on the tree outside the window look like a pineapple when the moonlight hits it just right. Or, holy shit, this new formula is going to cost us around $12,000 a year if she has to stay on it. WHY THE HELL DID I QUIT MY JOB???????

oh, wait, because it sucked and my girls are the bomb!

3.) Sleep deprived induced sleep talking is an under-appreciated form of entertainment.


Taki: "We were so worried about the bottles width that we didn't even consider their length" Me: "I'm going to repeat that to you when you are more awake and you're going to realize how stupid it sounds"

4.) I forgot how fun it is to try and go to the bathroom with a baby strapped to you because it's the only contraption out of the 20 or so that you own that calms them and you would rather chew off your own foot then chance taking them out and paying the consequences.

5.) It is inevitable that your oldest has a "spoon meltdown" requiring 20 minutes and emptying your entire utensil drawer to find the perfect spoon for her morning oatmeal at the same time your newborn needs to eat/have their diaper changed/receive medicine/scream for no apparent reason. Thus making you use expressions such as, "SERIOUSLY CHILD?!", "Really, REALLY? Are we REALLY doing this right now?" or my personal favorite: "Are you KIDDING me?"

...oh and did I mention I want the purple bowl instead of the pink one this morning mama?

6.) Fortunately you have learned from your first one's poop woes that when you call to report a poop/butt problem to the pediatrician you should use the word "rectum" rather then "anus", translating to a far less uncomfortable conversation with the nurse on duty. Whew!

7.) Trying to bounce a bouncy chair with my foot has made me realize how rhythmically challenged I am.

8.) Having a newborn changes your language. You will find yourself starting every sentence with the word, "maybe" because newborns are innately one big question mark. "Maybe it's gas". "Maybe she's hungry". "Maybe she's tired". "Maybe we have no idea what the hell we are doing and it's a fluke that Sophia turned out so well".

9.) If it takes a village to raise a child then it takes a country to raise two. Big thanks to all of our wonderful family and friends - especially GG and Yia Yia - for helping us out SO much! We love you!

Word Up

Been meaning to do this post for quite some time and am finally taking the time to sit down and sift through my swiss cheese brain to list some of my favorite Sophia-isms. I love how toddlers have their own language. I'm almost sad to think she'll someday pronounce words correctly! As I use this blog as a journal of her life to be saved (printed) and reflected back upon, I wanted to make sure we didn't forget these (see above: swiss cheese brain).

Flodgey = Flowers
Manana = Banana
"ABDD" = ABCD and also what she says everytime she see's a written word.
Echo = Luke (although this has recently turned into lukey)
Sides = Outside
How Bout That = She says this often. Today after seeing a cat on a walk she exclaimed,
"how bout that kitty!"
Woodgie = Woobie (decidedly better then the former produnciation- "woodie")
Watey = Water
Sim = Swim

Right now she has a mad love of turtles and peacocks and loves to get the mail out of the mailbox.. "MEAL" she calls it. She loves to say her name as well as everyone else's. Whenever I'm yelling for Taki from a different floor she starts yelling too..."TAKI". Hysterical. She's really grasping the idea of humor and what is funny. So she loves to say "funny!" and giggle. We're a bit alarmed that she readily points out anything messy and says "mess". Possible neat-freak or simply mocking mom? Every morning she points to my cup and says "coffee". She's no dummy. She repeats most anything now and has a pretty large vocabulary. Mostly though, she's just the coolest, most wonderful little person on the planet!

Must Read...

One of my favorite sites is www.dooce.com . If you've never visited, please do so immediately. So funny. Anyhow, I have to call attention to her most recent post because I just love it. . Check it out if you have a spare minute....

http://www.dooce.com/2009/04/14/having-daughter

Hysterical

Tonight I crossed the line. That very fine line between finding humor in parenting and being cruel. I'll set the scene for you...

I got Sophia ready for bed-jammies, woobie, brushed the teeth, etc. and then realized I had forgotten the bottle she takes before bed. I left her to play in her room while I ran down to get the bottle. When I ran back up the stairs and turned the corner I was surprised to see a laundry basket walking towards me. Somehow Soph had turned her pop up laundry holder upside down over her head and was trapped inside. She was walking around aimlessly with clothes drapped all around her. As she walked toward the gate and saw me hysterically laughing she started to whimper. So I did as any self-respecting mother would do and ran for the camera.

Shame on me.

My New Favorite Shirt...

I Want A Diploma And It Better Be Framed

Taki & I have officially graduated from parenting 101, or at least parenting sick 101. It's a tough course so I advise all to avoid taking it if at all possible. This week has been interesting to say the least. Learned a bunch of new parent stuff. That's my silver lining. That's all I've got.

Monday:
11:00 a.m.-Sophia up-chucks all over herself and nanny Becca. Mom thinks "gross" and moves on with her day.

12:00 p.m. -Sophia spews all over herself, nanny Becca, and MY PRECIOUS NEW GLIDER while mom is at dentist. Becca calls, Mom's all "hmm, maybe somethings up"

Sophia spends remainder of day wanting nothing other than to be held while she stares into space. Mom thinks "yeah, something is definitely not right. she's sick".

8:30 p.m.-Sophia gets to sleep in Mom & Dad's bed because they are worried about her and want to keep a watch on her and she wakes up vomitting all over herself, mom, dad, sheets, everything in 4 foot range. When cleaning her up we find she still hasn't wet a diaper yet and it's been 7 hours. Dad doesn't give mom time to think this time. He says "time to go to the e.r."

Tuesday:
3:00 a.m. Return home from E.R. since Soph is able to keep down 3 syringes of pedialyte. Armed with a new bottle of that evil stuff from CVS. (ever lonely at night and can't sleep? Just visit your local 24 hr CVS and I can assure you the store manager will be happy to tell you his life story.)

And the rest is history...thank God.

I could go on for days since this whole traumatic experience has gone on for days but I'll spare you. Basically we all got the stomach flu. I can't explain how difficult it is to take care of a child who is sick when you are sick and need to be taken care of yourself. It was awful. No way around it. Just awful. We're finally all on the mend and Sophia started back on formula today. So far she has kept everything down and is thrilled she doesn't have to fight us coming at her with a syringe of that nasty pedialyte stuff. I never thought I would be so happy to change a wet diaper!

I now own every anti-bacterial product on the market. And we have yet to track down the culprit who infected us. Jerk.

Well Said...Happy Valentine's Day!

"The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one." -Jill Churchill

Soph and her stuffed V-day doggie from nanny Becca...

Motherobics-Postpartum Exercise Program

Saw this in a magazine and just had to share...

Yoga: Fetus's Pose
Lie down on your mat and curl up on your side. That's all.
Intermediate: Read a magazine at the same time.
Advanced: To hit your target heart rate, read your hospital bill instead.

Pilates: The One
Lie faceup on your exercise mat. Lift your head and shoulders off the mat and raise your arms slightly above it. Pump arms once, down and up, for a count of one. Lie back down.
Intermediate: Do one more set of one.
Advanced: Get up from mat without shouting for help.

Spinning: Hell Climb
Haul yourself onto the seat of your exercise bike. Pause while your head stops spinning. Climb back down.
Intermediate: While still on bike, take both hands off handlebars and shout. "Look, a mom! No hands!"
Advanced: Remember to bring an ice pack with yhou in case the intermediate move makes you slip and bang your shin.

Jazzercise: Grape-Whine Combination
Stand in your kitchen, shoulders back and knees loose, then slowly sidestep to the fridge. Discover that your spouse has bought chardonnay, which you aren't allowed to have because you're breastfeeding.
Intermediate: Sidestep into room where spouse is sitting. Complain loudly.
Advanced: Lift right leg high and kick him.