Halleluiah, Praise the Lord, Amen, Thank You Jesus!

For those of you who did not hear me complain (doubtful anyone is left) I vehemently hated the rocking chair we bought for Sophia's room. Hate is a very strong word and one I very rarely use. But I HATE that chair. We were all, "Gliders are ugly and expensive" so we'll be cool and get a traditional, plain rocking chair because how bad could it be? We'll put a little cushion on it and voila!

NOTE TO ALL THOSE EXPECTING: DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP!

I don't care if it is the ugliest darn chair you have ever seen. You are going to sit in it for hours and it better be comfortable. Here are my arguments:

1.) Our house was built in the 20s, thus we have squeaky floors. There is perhaps one square inch of floor in her room that does not squeak when rocked on.

2.) Rocking chairs "travel" on carpet. So if you are brave enough to move it to the rug as to avoid problem #1 then you might as well pack a bag because that thing is going places. You will either end up hitting a wall or rocking yourself right out the room.

3.) When problem #2 happens and you need to somehow return to said room, you will need to pray real, real hard that when you get up and the rocking chair swings back and hits the wall and/or squeaky wood floor that your now sleeping baby does not wake up.

4.) If you are not familiar with these beastly things you may not know that the front edge of a rocking chair seat is higher then the back. So those of us vertically challenged have to engage in acrobatic stunts to get into it without dropping the baby. Then reach down for the pillow to prop up your arm that is holding the baby. Then realize you forgot the burp cloth. Lean down to get the burp cloth and drop the pillow. Try to move the wooden "cool" foot stool closer. Accidentally get your toe stuck under what you thought was a nifty storage lid only to have it bang shut making the loudest noise known to man. Baby is finally calmed down from screaming due to the racket you've just made. Foot stool is close enough. Pillow in hand. Burp cloth on shoulder. Chair positioned on 1 inch spot that doesn't squeak. Now where did I put the bottle....SH*T!

So it is with extreme pleasure that I welcome our new glorious glider. Amen